Funny Mom Quotes And Sayings With Sweet Funny Mother Images




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I used to have functioning brain cells, but traded them in for children.

I am pretty sure that kids think the word no means ask mom repeatedly until she either change her mind or loses it!

A little bride told me you’re going to put your eye out I have eyes in the back of my head cupcakes are not breakfast food are you going out dressed like that?

No only am I an amazing mom but I made some damn good looking kids too yeah, you should be jealous.

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If you are going to scream like that, you better be on fire with a stick in your eye.

Your loving and patient mom clocks of at 8:00pm. I suggest you get your tiny butt in bed before angry and I’ve had enough! Mom arrives. Ok?

You know you’re a stay at home mom when the most exciting thing in your day is seeing the bottom of the laundry basket.

I smiling because you’re my mother I laugh because there’s nothing you can do about it.

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Sometimes you have to be strong for yourself; you have to know that you’re a good person and a good friend. What’s meant to be will end up good and what’s not won’t love is worth fighting for but sometimes you can’t be the only one fighting. At times people need to fight for you. If they don’t you just have to move on and realize what you gave them was more than they were willing to give you.

I don’t care how old I am, if I lose my mom in the supermarket, I will panic.

Dear mom, thanks for being my mom, if I had different mom, I would punch her in the face and go find you love, your son.

Nothing is really lost until mom can’t find it.

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I love cleaning up messes I didn’t make so I became a mom.

But mom… what if I get kidnapped, Trust me they will bring you back.

I plan to give you love, nurturing and just enough dysfunction to make you funny.

If a woman speaks and no one is listening her name is probably memo.

When you said, the dishwasher was loaded, I thought you meant that mommy was drunk again.

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Yes, please get a new cup every time you need a drink of water: I love doing dishes said no mother ever.

Mom: the amazing ability to hear a sneeze through closed doors, in the middle of the night o3 bedrooms way.. While daddy snores next to you.

Motherhood: powered by love. Fooled by coffee Sustained by wine!

Never doubt a mother! She can carry a screaming toddler, two gallons of milk. Talk on her cellphone an still slap the shit out of you for looking at her carry.

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If a woman speaks and no is listening her name is probably mom.

The quickest way for a mother to get her children’s attention is to sit down and look comfortable.

Theorem; the length of the baby’s nap is inversely proportional to the amount of work I need to get done in an afternoon.

There is a legend that if you go take a shore and scream out loud mom three times, a nice lady appears bringing the towel you forgot.

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Don’t worry you’re not the first mom who’s ever thrown a towel over the peed on sheets and gone back to bed.

Look at me momma? Look, I am helping. I am momma’s little helper. Look momma. Happy mom day look. Look at me look, look…

When my mom says I can’t do something that I was really excited about.

On being a mom: half of the time I feel like I’m running an insane asylum the other half feel I belong in one.

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Wine is to moms what duct tape is to dads, it fixes everything’s.

It’s almost tax season your deadbeat dad should be coming around soon to play father with you.

I am convinced that there is a sensor in my ass that alerts my husband and kids in my home of the exact moment I sit down.

Yes, I am a stay at home mom. go ahead and ask me what I do all day long. I dare you.

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I bought my kids some of that volume control shampoo. It doesn’t work. I can still hear them.

Pale hands I loved beside the Shalimar, where are you now? Who lies beneath your spell?
Mom: your grab and jobs passed away. Loll me: why is that funny mom: it’s not funny David! What do you mean? Me. Mom loll means laughing out loud! Mom: oh my goodness! I sent that to everyone I thought it meant lots of love. I have to call everyone back oh god.

Too often we lose sight of life’s simple pleasures remember, when someone annoys you it takes 42 muscles in your face to frown. But it only takes 4 muscles to extend your arm and bitch-slap that.

I am tired because I am bust turning food into a human!

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Mommy doesn’t care, don’t interrupt her while she’s having another glass.

My house isn’t messy, it’s custom designed by a 3 year old.

A step parent is so much more than just a parent; they made the choice to love when they didn’t have to.

Your children while they clean tier room: i% cleaning 30% complaining 69% playing with stuff they just found.

Me: mom do you want any help? Mom: no thanks sweetie. *5 minutes later* mom: honest to god it like none of you cares around here!

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